


And All The Sky Is Gray

by shm00mzz



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Coping, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Unhappy Ending, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:53:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shm00mzz/pseuds/shm00mzz
Summary: Evenings were the hardest.But that didn’t mean anything was ever easy.[500 words of a grieving mind]
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	And All The Sky Is Gray

**Author's Note:**

> Based on "To Wish Impossible Things" by The Cure, i'd recommend listening while/after reading :)
> 
> This is set in a nondescript time period in the future, shortly after Kurapika lays down their life for their cause. They had a fwb thing for a little while, but nothing serious, and Leorio has/had big time feelings. That's all you need to know for this.

Evenings were the hardest.

But that didn’t mean anything was  _ ever  _ easy.

Constantly forced to stomach ripples of dull pain any time he drove at night, because traffic lights and the bright starbursts of the cars ahead bit at his aching bones in reminder that he’d never again see the eyes that could put those glows of red, and even the sun, to shame in their brilliant luminance.

Coming home late and barely managing to get a flavorless dinner down his throat and ducking past mirrors and windows so he wouldn’t have to look himself in the eye.

Hands always feeling cold when he sat at his desk, faced by thin pages of meaningless text staring up at him in silent judgement.

Showers in dim light that hardly touched his skin, the warmth of the spray running down his sides and all of the angles of his body but somehow left him feeling even colder.

Ghosts of fleeting touches and words unspoken wept against his chest, distant whispers that time and time again had proven unintelligible against the sounds of the city tens of feet below him, a paper thin veil between his mind and closure that hung like anchors from his heart, and each night he’d sleep on his side, facing outward so he wouldn’t have to look upon the empty space next to him, where sometimes he swore a cruel apparition would tease his grieving soul.

There was no pleasure to be found with himself or others, no matter how much the desperation clouded his vision, because nobody could replace what had been lost, he couldn’t touch without a startling realization that his hands were pressed against the wrong person, that he would never live in the sweetness of the same skin, and that he was never able to say more than what his body could tell. 

And like that it would have to stay.

Ever present, heavy and draining, a permanent encumbrance heaved onto tired shoulders by the emptiness left by an unknown, unrequited love, and a person he’d lost so suddenly, like the sand of a shattered hourglass falling between his fingers.

It wasn’t his fault.

There was nothing to be done.

Yet, these meant nothing, for all that could be heard by a mourning mind was the ringing of loss in his ears, blind confusion, and the aching white noise of all of the things he could have done to twist the arm of fate.

He maintained direction and walked forward, not lost without the presence, rather blinded by the knowledge that he had spent his years wishing for impossible things, that endings such as these were permanent, and he would take these burdens to his grave.

Leeched of color and purpose, Leorio treads onward, carrying only memories and the sting of dreams of what could’ve been in the absence of the sunlight that once brought him meaning in a world sodden with darkness.

Leorio treads onward, and he sees Kurapika’s eyes in the sunset.

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiiii im feeling shitty and i missed therapy so i decided to experience pain and now u all get to suffer with me
> 
> the run on sentence structure was intentional but poorly executed, sorry about this, i threw this together in like a half hour total whilst sobbing. felt cute might orphan later/hj.   
> (theres some wholesome stuff on the way btw hehe)


End file.
